Lately I have been having to watch Ezzy fall down a lot. She is just so very determined to explore the world from a vertical position that she constantly insists on pulling up to stand on low surfaces. Her favorite spot now is the low table below the television. It seems like any moment my back is turned she pulls herself up in a flash, and slaps her hands on the table, demanding more Yo Gabba Gabba like a tiny dictator.

Under perfect conditions she is pretty unsteady. Her little knees are often hyperextended to keep her little legs from trembling. She might impulsively lunge toward an object without moving her feet or stack her feet one on the other so that a light breeze could destabilize her. But she is certainly getting stronger and more coordinated…and surprisingly creative: attempting to use her chin to help her up or rolling along a surface instead of cruising or lowering herself down, butt out, knees locked, like a “less than” symbol, then dropping the last few inches.

When she hits the ground though, fatigued, she often tumbles over to one side or another, sometimes knocking her head a bit (thank goodness for our carpeting!). But, it is virtually impossible to keep her from trying again and again and again. She is undeterred, not matter how many little tumbles she takes courtesy of her poor coordination, low tone, and lack of endurance.

I know all kids learning to stand go through this phase…but for her it has lasted a long while. And will likely persist for a very long time. 

As her mother I am both amazed and terrified by her determination. Sometimes I just wish that she would decide that she has fallen one too many times, that it isn’t worth it right now…that she will try again when she is stronger or rested or more in control of her limbs. 

Instead I watch her there on her tippy toes, lifting one foot and then the other, planning a way to climb up higher…despite the fact that it seems impossible. 

And I know there is nothing I can do but laugh at her boldness and get ready to catch her.

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