The Alleged Surgery

Yesterday was finally the day of Esmé’s surgery. I have been very apprehensive, but have also been looking forward to this, in the way that one looks forward to such things: that they will soon be over. I have been looking forward to seeing where she will be in a few weeks–to see what we hope will be the positive impact of her stomach functioning better: improved food absorption, increased stomach capacity, reduced retching…and, most importantly, less pain.

And, as much as I have hated the idea of the surgery, I successfully got myself good and ready…I was focused, calm, and ready to cry only when Ez went in. Fully prepped (no food since midnight, no liquids since 10:30) and after a nice morning walk, we arrived at Children’s at 11:15, as planned. There were a TON of people waiting in the pre-operative waiting room. We couldn’t even sit…we imagined there would be a delay of our 12:45 OR time.

We were right…

And I was annoyed but grateful for what I thought was preparedness when at 12:30 the staff came out and said there would be a delay getting us upstairs to the OR. She said it would be two hours and that we should give Ezzy some pedialyte since she could have clear liquids until two hours before surgery.

There had been some emergent cases before us. And, I will say, we do understand emergent and complex cases taking the lead! We knew it could have ben Ezzy in need of attention. So we had an anxious but pleasant lunch, followed by a stroll around the hospital while Ez rested.

An hour later they tell us it will be another two hours. Surgery will start at four in the afternoon at the latest. Thankfully, Ezzy is comfortably asleep in her stroller by this time. So, while we were feeling very frustrated, we were ok to wait a bit longer as long as she stayed comfortable.

At 3:30 we are brought upstairs to pre-op holding. There we wait another hour until people start coming around to talk to us about the procedure.

At this point we are the only remaining people in pre-op.

Our surgeon comes by to tell us he is ready to start at 6 pm and that he expects the surgery to last five or six hours…so, until midnight. We are slightly uncomfortable with this, but the surgeon seemed confident and we do really like and trust him. So, we say ok.

Another hour and he comes to say that the surgery has been cancelled because there was not enough anesthesia staff to do her procedure.

So we were bumped until Monday.

As I said, I understand that emergencies happen and need to be addressed…it was the shocking lack of coordination that left my fragile daughter with no food for 18 hours and no liquids for five hours that made me really really angry…Admittedly it was also the emotional struggle of preparing ourselves for all of this–as if for battle–and then having to a complete 180.

Now we face down the challenge of re-preparing for this surgery…steeling myself for handing this sweet girl over for six hours of precision surgery knowing that she will have to head to the ICU afterward.

But for now we have been walking around the city…enjoying our time with our girl…and getting ready for battle again on Monday.