When I close my eyes.

June 23, 2016My Story 20 Comments

  When I close my eyes I see the haunted places inside of me. That sounds frightening, I suppose. But it isn’t. Or at least it isn’t as frightening as it might be. The haunted places inside me are at once beautiful and terrifying—illuminated, fiercely. When I close my eyes I find those luminous places … Read More

Dear 2007 Hillary

June 22, 2016 2 Comments

A bunch of my friends have been sharing those side-by-sides of their first and current facebook photos. I pretty rarely participate in such things, but, admittedly, I did check to see what my first profile photo was. The very first was a photo that did not include me in it. But the second was this: … Read More

The Bee’s Knees

June 17, 2016Cocktail No Comments

  I hadn’t mixed a drink since we returned home from Hole in the Wall Gang Camp almost two weeks ago. I was just a bit too tired to get cocktail creative, I guess. But a few nights ago the evening seemed to be calling for a drink. I had a new bottle of Old … Read More

The Cute’s Guide to Camp Fashion

June 8, 2016 No Comments

  Last weekend my darling daughter Esmé, aka The Cute, was invited to attend a family weekend for kids with rare diseases at Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in Ashford Connecticut. If you have never heard of this place, it is something you absolutely need to know about. The camp was founded in 1988 … Read More

Grin Like You Mean It

June 2, 2016Special Needs Child No Comments

I want to talk about something really important. It is something that is as essential to my survival as oxygen. It is this smile:   This smile is basically the best thing in the world, if you ask me.  It is a wide open tongue-filled smile that says “Oh my god, I cannot even believe … Read More

Gin! Homemade (compound) gin!

May 30, 2016 No Comments

Last week I realized that a person can make her own gin. So, I immediately set to making gin…because what else did I have to do? Prepare for my kid’s IEP meeting? Pshaw. Send out letters from the foundation? Yawn…Complete the testing for my potential new job? Child, please. Now before you all get overly … Read More

Welcome New Readers!

May 19, 2016Uncategorized 8 Comments

If you were sent here by Scary Mommy, welcome! (All, uh, thousands of you! I’m like 70% sure the blog won’t break from all the traffic, so, please, get comfortable!) Allow me to make some introductions. This is my daughter, Esmé, a.k.a. The Cute. I’m Hillary, Esmé’s Maman (that’s French for Mom).       … Read More