August 4, 2016My Story 11 Comments

This week I was tasked to write about blessings. Normally I feel like I’d have very little trouble writing about this topic. I’d sit and think about the weight of Esmé in my arms at night as she drifts off to sleep over my shoulder. And somehow, I’d leap from there, finding myself wrapping the … Read More

I see ripples when…

July 21, 2016Advocacy 25 Comments

I never thought I was a writer. And yet, here I am. This week I published words that terrified me…terrified and thrilled me. I’ve never felt as much or as little of a writer as I do right now, typing these words. *** When I was 15 my history teacher and met to review a … Read More

Chicago Ferris Wheel

July 14, 2016My Story 10 Comments

Last Friday I got on a plane and flew to Chicago meet my foundation partner and dear, dear friend Juliann. We had what amounted to a day and a half together. But, as is usual for us, our time seemed to expand into something far bigger. Juliann and I have known each other for only … Read More

It’s Always Been Me

July 6, 2016My Story 3 Comments

It’s Always Been Me I’d guess that some of you might be a wee bit surprised to have landed here on this page. I keep imagining you, former reader from the Cute Syndrome Blog, clicking the link to your favorite post (Which is probably this one. Or this one? Maybe this one?) expecting to see my … Read More

The things we know

July 1, 2016My Story 6 Comments

My teacher asks with his eyes before reaching out to adjust my stance. I nod. He kicks at my foot, turning my toes. He lifts and pushes my hand in place, closer to my face. Stepping back he mirrors my body. “Like this,” he says as his fist hooks, deliberately, elbow up. “Again. Watch my … Read More

Get in Line

June 30, 2016Advocacy, Special Needs Child 8 Comments

Lately my notions of what is possible for Esmé are changing. I don’t mean the distant ones that I do my best to keep an open mind about: Will Esmé speak? Will Esmé walk? Will she fall in love? Will she find a way to share her talents with the world through some kind of … Read More

When I close my eyes.

June 23, 2016My Story 23 Comments

  When I close my eyes I see the haunted places inside of me. That sounds frightening, I suppose. But it isn’t. Or at least it isn’t as frightening as it might be. The haunted places inside me are at once beautiful and terrifying—illuminated, fiercely. When I close my eyes I find those luminous places … Read More