Lately my notions of what is possible for Esmé are changing. I don’t mean the distant ones that I do my best to keep an open mind about: Will Esmé speak? Will Esmé walk? Will she fall in love? Will she find a way to share her talents with the world through some kind of … Read More
When I close my eyes I see the haunted places inside of me. That sounds frightening, I suppose. But it isn’t. Or at least it isn’t as frightening as it might be. The haunted places inside me are at once beautiful and terrifying—illuminated, fiercely. When I close my eyes I find those luminous places … Read More
A bunch of my friends have been sharing those side-by-sides of their first and current facebook photos. I pretty rarely participate in such things, but, admittedly, I did check to see what my first profile photo was. The very first was a photo that did not include me in it. But the second was this: … Read More
I hadn’t mixed a drink since we returned home from Hole in the Wall Gang Camp almost two weeks ago. I was just a bit too tired to get cocktail creative, I guess. But a few nights ago the evening seemed to be calling for a drink. I had a new bottle of Old … Read More
I want to talk about kindergarten. Esmé is 5 1/2. This means that in September my little girl will be at the age where she should be starting kindergarten. I imagine that for most parents this is a terrifying and exciting thing. It can be hard to accept that our little kids have grown up … Read More
It is a beautiful Thursday afternoon. We pull into a tiny little road off of Route 44 in Ashford Connecticut. We drive over a one lane bridge, a large still pond stretching out to our left. Then we move slowly upward and into the woods, passing between two large piles of boulders. At that place … Read More
Last weekend my darling daughter Esmé, aka The Cute, was invited to attend a family weekend for kids with rare diseases at Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in Ashford Connecticut. If you have never heard of this place, it is something you absolutely need to know about. The camp was founded in 1988 … Read More
I want to talk about something really important. It is something that is as essential to my survival as oxygen. It is this smile: This smile is basically the best thing in the world, if you ask me. It is a wide open tongue-filled smile that says “Oh my god, I cannot even believe … Read More
Last week I realized that a person can make her own gin. So, I immediately set to making gin…because what else did I have to do? Prepare for my kid’s IEP meeting? Pshaw. Send out letters from the foundation? Yawn…Complete the testing for my potential new job? Child, please. Now before you all get overly … Read More
When I arrive at my boxing class this week, there are a couple of little boys Esmé’s age running around. Their dad is teaching a session in the back room. And every once in a while they come racing through the front room class, darting between heavy bags. I do my best to avoid them—as … Read More